Reflecting on A Creature - 10 Years Later

A Creature was the first major creative project that I put into the world. I was young, full of gumption and ready to try with all my might. Unfortunately being young can also mean lacking perspective. I didn't know how hard it would be for me to get started, to juggle everything I wanted without financial security or experience.

I was working full time, in a rather negative environment, surrounding myself with people who saw creativity as capital and success as never failing. While I didn't agree with this way of thinking, it was harsh to see myself through their eyes. My picture book project quickly descended from the joyous activity I intended it to be, to working late hours after work and feeling burdened.

As a first project, A Creature came with first lessons that hurt much more than anything I had learned studying. I cringed at my mistakes. I had gained feedback from parents, but not in time for it to really influence the book and I discovered that the story was controversial. While teachers seemed to love it, they said it had great learning words, engaging images and a thought provoking story, parents were wary. The story alludes to death, which as a someone who grew up loving the Lion King, I thought would be no problem for children, but I can see now that some parents might not want to get into a deep conversation about life and death.

I also didn't put a barcode on the book - even though I knew it needed one. When I got to that point in the project, I was completely burnt out and I didn't care anymore. This did create a few minor barriers with marketing the book, but it was nothing compared to the surprise I had when I learned how much time it would take to market it myself. I crowdfunded the cost of printing and I got A Creature into a few independent book stores and many libraries across the country, but I didn't know how to be proud of that, when I was also spending days at craft markets and book fairs without selling any books.

The process was extremely disheartening and while I never stopped creating, I gave up on sharing my work with the world.

The turning point for me came when I visited my primary school, with a box of A Creature in hand. I read the story to a group of two classrooms, who were selected for their particular passion for reading. When the story finished I announced that everyone was going to take their own copy home. A boy at the front of the class, who had listened most attentively, held his own copy with awe and said to me, "This is great because this will be my first ever book that I have at home."

That one moment was more important to me than any other moment I have had with A Creature and will always make the project worth it to me.

Years later, I am finally surrounded by people who see creativity as expression and failing as not giving it a go. I feel full of gumption again and ready to unleash my work into the world. I can look back at A Creature now and see what I was trying to accomplish in the first place. I see a story that was carefully researched and mindfully crafted and the gumption of a young person willing to turn a dream into a reality.

I'm really proud of A Creature, I still think it is a lovely story, just the sort of picture book that I enjoy. I'm proud of the lessons it has continued to teach me and the place it takes as my first creative project, but now I'm ready for more!